Indulge me for a minute and let me tell you how amazing my baby, who is three and a half is. For awhile, we thought he might be the anti-Christ, just because he did so many truly strange things none of our other children had done. But, recently, he has begun to show signs of civilization and he is developing some charming baby manners, although i suspect he has also watched some inappropriate tv fare with the 15 year old.
So, last weekend, we were buying shoes. It was almost naptime and the black and yellow Nikes he had picked out were only available in blue and red. "It’s ok" the really nice girl in the store told him. "They’re Superman shoes." He was just barely awake as she put them on, so after she confirmed that they fit him, I told him he didn’t need to run around for us to see. He broke away from me then, ran about 15 feet really quickly and began jumping up and down higher than I had ever see him jump. Suddenly, he stopped and turned back to look at us sadly. "But I can’t fly," he said. All the parents in the store broke up laughing. Isn’t he amazing? And cute too, with curly hair and steel blue eyes.
Right now he is hanging with the fifteen year old, who just came in to tell me "Ollie has just summed up the entire history of human warfare." Hmm, that seems a little bit profound, even for a reformed anti-Christ. "What did Ollie say?" I asked. Fifteen says, "Ollie said: i hate them and i don’t know what they care about." Gee whiz. Now the two of them are double teaming me. One is interpreting the other’s ramblings as important wisdom of the ages. God has given me children smarter than I am. I don’t think this bodes well for my future.